Hello Everyone,
Evelyn here,
As I am keeping track of this year's 2008 election and finding, it is pretty interesting with all the unexpected twists of faith and sudden bow outs. I thought that injecting a little political humor from one of America funniest news journalist, namely Andy Borowitz of the Borowitz’s Report would some balance to “The Constituent.” You can also check Andy out on his MySpace page here. I have enjoyed reading Andy Borowitz for a few years now and like me, I am sure you will like him too.
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| Winner Of The First-Ever National Press Club Award For Humor |
February 8, 2008 | |
| Breaking News |
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Hillary Sells Own Tears on eBay
‘Hail Mary’ for Cash-strapped Campaign
In a bold strategy to raise funds for her cash-strapped presidential campaign, Sen. Hillary Rodham Clinton today announced that she was selling her own tears on the popular auction site eBay.
After lending her campaign $5 million of her own money prior to the Super Tuesday primaries, Mrs. Clinton’s resources were reportedly tapped out, leading her to auction off vials of her own tears with a suggested opening bid of $10,000.
While the posted eBay description of her tears does not attribute any healing properties to them, it does claim that their historic value could be priceless.
Mrs. Clinton’s decision to auction off her own tears, while admittedly an unorthodox strategy, was not nearly as unusual as some of the other fundraising ideas floated by her campaign in recent days, sources said.
According to sources close to the New York senator, Mrs. Clinton had toyed with a number of unusual strategies, including marrying former Massachusetts governor Mitt Romney.
“From where we sat, it was a win-win situation,” one campaign aide said. “Hillary would have access to $200 million, and Mitt would get one step closer to the White House.”
Reportedly, the plan to marry Mr. Romney broke down when a representative for the former governor conveyed the message that Mr. Romney did not believe in polygamy.
“Hillary cried when she heard the news about Romney,” the aide said. “But hopefully, those tears will find a buyer.”
Elsewhere, a new study shows that spending hours on a cell phone may affect the quality of one’s sperm, raising hopes that hedge fund managers may have trouble reproducing. |
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| Andy’s Only West Coast Appearance – April 24
Andy makes his only scheduled West Coast appearance Thursday, April 24 at University of California, Santa Barbara. 8 PM at Campbell Hall. Tickets available at https://artsandlectures.sa.ucsb.edu Andy with Susie Essman and Jeffrey Toobin – May 13
Andy hosts "Countdown to '08" on Tuesday, May 13 at 8 PM at the 92nd St. Y with his special guests Susie Essman (HBO's Curb Your Enthusiasm) and Jeffrey Toobin (CNN, bestselling author of The Nine). The Y is located at 92nd St. and Lexington Avenue. For tickets, go to www.92y.org.
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Evelyn out.
